|
|
 |
 |
|
You're about to spend
the most useful 5 minutes you've ever spent on improving
your future love life.
Read this...
There's something I want you to do that
I KNOW will improve your natural ability to read into a
man's behavior and his mind.
And learning to do this homework could
mean the difference between being
HAPPY & IN-LOVE or LONELY & SINGLE.
Whoa... that's pretty intense - I'll
tone it down for a sec and give you something to take your
mind to off some of the potential negative stuff that you
might be thinking about here...
Did you see the final Sex and the City
episode where Carrie went to Paris with her lover?
Carrie's in Paris with her boyfriend
and begins to wonder if she made the right decision to move
away with this man who, deep down inside, she know's doesn't
want the same type of life and relationship she does.
As she makes this realization, her ex,
“Big”, has flown to Paris from New York looking
to reconcile with his lost love after realizing his undying
love for Carrie.
And of course, as with all good TV, the
two find each other by luck and fate, and Big finally professes
his love.
Talk about romantic, intense, suspenseful
and full of great drama!
Ok, I thought that might do the trick
to warm you back up.
So what does the story of Carrie's love
life have to do with YOUR love life?
More than you might think - but we'll
get to that.
That's why this week I'm giving you a
short homework assignment - and this is what could be the
most valuable 5 minutes you'll ever spend on your love life:
I need you to think about one of the
first things I recognized about women way back in junior
high - it's something I still see it today in our “grown-up”
dating world.
Why don't women pick the right guys?
Or even more to the point - why do women
pick all the wrong guys?
If you've had your heart broken, been
cheated on, or find yourself giving everything you've got
inside, to get little or nothing in return, then you know
what I'm talking about.
****Right Now****
Take 5 minutes of time to yourself.
Tune the rest of the world out for just
these 5 minutes.
Now, think about each of these questions
for a minute or two each:
1. What is it about “bad boys” or men that aren't
“available” that is attractive to women? And
to you?
2. Have you ever dated a guy even though you knew he was
a “bad boy” - or found out soon into things?
3. Is there a “nice guy” in your life who would
make a great companion but you're not attracted to or share
a “connection” with?
Don't cheat yourself...
Stop, go back, make sure you take at
least 5 minutes of time and think about just these questions...
(Trust me - it's AMAZING what you can actually learn about
the world and yourself if you take a few minutes of silence
to think just about ONE THING at a time. It's maybe the
BEST thing I ever started doing for myself!)
I'll give you some more time...
Ok, so you've thought about it. Let's
share our thoughts and compare notes.
*As a quick inside reminder:
This exercise is all about actively improving
your ability to know what a good man looks like for YOU
and to help you pick ONLY the right men now and in the future.
Picking the wrong men can get you in
all kinds of painful trouble it's hard to get free of.
But for some reason, women don't want
the guys who are probably better relationship and love companions.
I'm not going to give you ALL the answers
right now, but I'm going to lead you to finding the answers
for yourself - as it's a much more effective way of learning.
So.... I'm gonna address the last question
first about “nice guys”.
A friend of mine sent me an article that
was on AOL entitled “What's Wrong With Nice Guys?”.
Here's a little quote from the article:
“...Do Women Date Naughty Guys but Marry Nice Ones?”
This notion sounds an awful lot like
the irritating good-girl/bad-girl distinction that men continue
to make. Still, it does contain a nugget of sense. Since
women truly are conditioned to be “good girls,”
sometimes we feel uncomfortable with or guilty about that
pure burning “I must have him!” feeling. That's
why we sometimes seek out a bad boy to serve as the object
of these desires, says Cleveland psychotherapist Belleruth
Naparstek, creator of the Health Journeys series of guided
imagery tapes. “In order for the deliciousness of
pure lust to be 'okay,' it has to be for the symbolic bad
boy who has nothing to do with the rest of your life. With
him, you can crank up your animal impulses, worry-free,”
she says...
Interesting, huh?
My friend who sent it to me disagrees
with the idea that women seek out “bad boys”
because they need somewhere to project their guilty lust,
and I agree.
I disagree that there's something “wrong”
with the fact that women are attracted to “bad boys”...
My friend also made the point that the
“mainstream” psychology and behavior world is
starting to accept the idea that women are attracted to
“bad boys”.
There's something to the idea that woman
don't feel that powerful GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION for “nice
guys” who chase after them, dote on them and kiss
up to them.
A woman might LIKE the experience of
the “nice guy” doing nice things, but it doesn't
CREATE attraction or a connection with the woman.
Ever.
Trust me, I know men who are the “nice
guy” all the time and they get so frustrated trying
so hard to please a woman and get her interested.
But it's like trying to chew bubble gum
to solve calculus problems... It's hopeless.
And wouldn't you know it - it works the
same way for “nice women”. Being a “nice
girl” can't “convince” a guy to like you
just because you do sweet things...
It just doesn't work like that.
I've had women be the “nice girl”
with me in the past. There's two women I can remember from
acting overly nice and sweet to try and attract me.
Any attraction that was there started
falling away.
THE TRUTH of the matter is - kissing
up, convincing and being too “sweet” can kill
attraction.
Why?
Our subconscious reacts in ways you often
can't control and aren't very aware of.
Being too “nice” sends a
signal to the “deep” part of the mind that tells
you “this person isn't desirable and is lower status”.
I know, this might sound kind of dark,
power-hungry or weird to you, but it's what happens with
us humans.
People don't value what they can have
too easily, whether they admit it or not.
Ultimately, when women are around “nice
guys”, they end up unconsciously thinking, “This
man isn't desirable, I shouldn't date or pursue this guy”.
(Ok, there can be another reason, but
I won't disuss it here but it has to do with people who
develop the “nice” persona due to what they
feel they personally lack, and thus “nice” people
are self-selecting and are actually and less confident and
less attractive.)
In the nice guys defense - they might
actually have something better to offer a woman in terms
of what she SAYS she wants (love, trust, companionship,
passion), but the women aren't able to see it - or see it
as something they want.
Why?
Women don't develop a connection to the
nice guy and the “connection” is the MAGIC ingredient
for attraction with most women.
Which leads us to the “bad boy”!
You might not agree with me, but women
DO feel that magical emotion called ATTRACTION for “bad
boys”.
Of course, I don't believe that men have
to be jerks, or abuse women in order to make them feel attracted
to them.
But women have a deep attraction mechanism
that's triggered by men who behave indifferent, superior,
cocky, the list goes of “bad” behavior. You've
seen it.
“Bad boys” often create inviting
and intoxicating forms of drama - often perceived as playfulness,
sexuality and fun.
When I first talk to women about the
bad boy subject, they jump ALL OVER me and completely disagree.
Then I ask them about some of the relationships
they've had in the past.
And guess what?
Most women realize in the course of the
conversation that they've dated men they knew fit the “bad
boy” profile.
What makes me laugh is that the realization
makes them argue with me even more!
So why do women date and continue on
with “bad boys”?
The answer to this question when I ask
it to women is almost UNIVERSAL.
“We had a great connection”.
Some women call it “chemistry”.
The magic of a connection with a man
can be extremely powerful. Often powerful enough to undo
all sorts of reasoning abilities and ways of perceiving
things.
Women picking and staying with the wrong
men is the single biggest mistake I see women make. It's
the most common reason why the thousands of women I hear
from can't find the love and fulfillment they're looking
for.
But there's help...
I talk about these and other concepts
in detail in my eBook, “Catch Him And Keep Him”.
You can get your hands on a copy of Catch Him And Keep Him
at my website and be reading it in just a few minutes from
now.
Plus, you can get it at what is at my
risk-
Why don't you try the book for a week
so you can decide if you want to keep it?
If you don't like it, just let me know
and I'll refund all your money immediately.
Honestly, I think you could learn more
in a few hours reading the book than most women might learn
in their whole LIVES about how to meet and attract men the
right men AND what the specific steps are to develop an
amazing relationship he won't ever want to come to an end.
Go check it out:
Your Friend,
Christian Carter
©Copyright 2008,
Catch Him Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Copyright materials used by permission.
“Catch Him And Keep Him” and “Christian
Carter”
are trademarks of Catch Him Inc.
|
|
     
 
 
|
|
